On Personal Boundaries

I have some somewhat trivial and at the same time pretty big issues to deal with now. It’s a matter of should someone writing a story about someone else’s character, with that individual’s permission, be subject to being attacked by their significant other. That’s where my conundrum lies. It goes to the heart of why writers write.

I always write because I have a story that I feel needs to be told. That it’s something so important to me that I want to put it on paper or on computer screen… what have you. That is why I write. I feel this desire to tell stories. I write more for myself. I don’t do it for anyone else. I get a sense of personal sense of satisfaction when I create stories.

So, if I get the permission of the person who created a character to write a story about said character, I shouldn’t get chewed apart for writing it, right? I’m not taking the IP rights of someone else without their permission (as much IP as can be gleaned from making a character for an MMO). I appreciate that certain topics are going to be taboo because they talk about social issues that can get hairy. But writing about an actual event where someone waits a week for a monster to spawn to the exclusion of doing anything else should be considered taboo?

Because these things have happened to me, I’m now forced to do something that I don’t like to need to do: enforce my personal boundaries. It sucks when someone decides to step all over them. It sucks even more that you have to step away from a lot of people because that person isn’t directly involved with you or even a part of the group, but you also can’t trust that the same situation isn’t going to happen again. I hate feeling like I’m punishing others for someone else’s actions when there no real direct connection to them.

That’s where I am.

So, it’s not that I need to enforce them. I have no problem doing so. It’s why I made my decision while I was being attacked for 30 minutes and being called a crazy stalker. I feel like I’m punishing others for someone else’s actions who aren’t directly involved. At the same time, I shouldn’t feel afraid to even be on and do what I would normally do because I don’t know who’s on.

I’ve lost my safe space. I have enough social anxiety issues on my own that I don’t need to feel on edge because I don’t know if I’m going to be attacked again. I know what I need to do, but doing it sometimes feels awful. And it’s because I feel like I’m penalizing others for someone’s actions. I don’t really know what is best to do.

This is a matter of protecting personal boundaries. If someone disrespects them, then pulling away is perfectly acceptable. When it affects others directly and not the person, it becomes sticky. I need to protect myself and what I need to keep a decent sense of self. I think that’s entirely fair, right?