Thankful

So, I know I write about a variety of things… dealing with PTSD, writing, movies, writing, politics, writing… but I feel like writing something different. I feel like writing something gushy because, well, it’s something long overdue. And I’m doing it because it’s my blog. So, you can either read on or go ahead and ignore this… Though, I promise that it shouldn’t be overly gushy.

I’ve been with my current SO for going on 6 years now. I know, it’s not all that long, right? Well, considering the life span of a lot of relationships and my age, it’s pretty remarkable. It’s even more remarkable when you add in our real relationship dynamic. There’s a lot of room for the relationship to go wonky… or implode altogether.

So, it’s a minor miracle that our relationship is as strong as it is. It might be because we are very similar people and look at the world similarly. It could be that we try to communicate well… and in some cases over-communicate. There are times where it doesn’t work, but that’s just human. No one is flawless. Instead of giving in, we discuss it.

This is the first relationship where I feel cherished. I’ve dated a lot of people… and I have been in a ridiculous amount of crappy relationships (you know, abusive, manipulative, neglectful). And I still will occasionally let was told to me then seep into current thought. It’s not something I can help because it’s all a matter of conditioning.

More than anything, this relationship has given me something that I have lacked for such a large part of my life, self-worth. I have never been made to feel like I deserve to be me and I deserve all sorts of good things as this relationship has taught me. That is something that I’m infinitely thankful for. I’ve had too many years of being beaten, being torn down. This is something still somewhat foreign. And it’s something incredibly wonderful.

Sure, we have our squabbles… even if they are few and far between. But I wouldn’t trade this relationship for the world.

So, see… not overly gushy… I don’t think.