Good Beginnings?

Sometimes I get these feelings. I don’t know what it is, but I always get this feeling when things feel like they’re going to work out for me. I can never know when it will start and I never know what I’m being alerted to. But I can say this, it feels like I’m going into interesting times.

I know I say interesting and everyone thinks I mean Chinese curse interesting. I don’t know why… but it feels like this interesting is more positive.

Maybe it’s because I’m taking some more proactive steps forward in my life. I’ve been isolating myself for the past… I can’t remember how many months. I guess I can say since we moved to Pacifica, but I’m pretty sure that it’s been much longer than that.

I’ve been taking baby steps to stop isolating. I met a friend for drinks and to talk the week before last. This past Saturday me and my SO went to the J-Pop Summit in Japantown. It was a lot of fun. And something I thought that was never possible happened.

h.naoto has a small pop-up store in the New People building while Black Peace Now moves to Union Square. I was looking at the clothes. h.naoto has been a huge fashion influence to me. His clothing is amazing. I love them. A lot of the designs that I would like to make are very inspired by him.

So, I’m looking through the clothes and a guy comes up to me and starts talking to me. He has a heavy Japanese accent. He tells me that I’m obviously into the Gothic look. I tell him that I’ve been into Goth for about as long as I can remember when I first heard Bauhaus when I was like 5 years old. He asks me where I had seen h.naoto clothing. I said online and through Japanese street fashion things. He seemed pretty impressed. He asked me what I thought of the clothing. I said that h.naoto is a huge fashion influence on me and I love his usage of purposeful deconstruction. He said, “Purposeful deconstruction, I like that.”

He goes back to working on the rack of fashion clothes and I continue to browse through the store. I get about halfway through looking on the same rack I was when I talked to the guy before I finally figure out who he is. I’ve seen his picture before. I just talked to the designer. I talked to the guy behind h.naoto. This is huge for me. In a store full of people, many dressed better than I was and certainly better looking and the designer comes up to me. It made me ridiculously happy to have that conversation. I am still thrilled.

It makes me curious as to what else life has in store for me. I feel like something pretty major’s coming up. I know that I’m taking the leap and I’m going to try and get 4 day Comic Con passes. I’m going to do my first networking to try and sell my screenplay and sell myself as a writer. Maybe this is my time. Maybe I’m supposed to do this. That I’m actively moving forward to achieve what I want in me life. Yes, I’m feeling bad that I’m not on Playa this year. I gave that up. I can’t even watch the stream this year. But if this works and something actually comes of this, I think I can justify missing 1 or 2 years. I won’t have to miss any future years.